[it's been one hell of a ride, honestly. everything from initially waking up here, to witnessing his first in-person death, to someone choosing to murder, to having to vote for them to be executed, to feeling trapped and helpless, to attempting to reclaim some agency and failing, to finally deciding he had no choice but to commit the same sort of betrayal he had disparaged so early on in the game. . . to failing Tsumugi and Dazai, to watching Will Graham live on while he's dead, having taken two others with him. . .]
[he's tired. he's exhausted. he doesn't want to give up, but he feels bitter and lost and like the scum of the earth. he doesn't feel like Akira Kurusu, the defiant piece of garbage who walks to the beat of his own drum. he doesn't feel like Joker, the thief who sticks to his own justice and punishes evil doers by stealing their distorted desires]
[he feels like a failure, like a toy, like a plaything. and fuck that]
[don't get despondent. get fucking angry. own up your mistakes, your bad choices, the bonds you've broken and the pain you've caused. own up to it, and do something about it]
[there's no way Rin can see that internal monologue. no way he can know what's Akira is thinking. but there's a certain spark of life in the backs of his gray irises that wasn't there before]
no subject
[it's been one hell of a ride, honestly. everything from initially waking up here, to witnessing his first in-person death, to someone choosing to murder, to having to vote for them to be executed, to feeling trapped and helpless, to attempting to reclaim some agency and failing, to finally deciding he had no choice but to commit the same sort of betrayal he had disparaged so early on in the game. . . to failing Tsumugi and Dazai, to watching Will Graham live on while he's dead, having taken two others with him. . .]
[he's tired. he's exhausted. he doesn't want to give up, but he feels bitter and lost and like the scum of the earth. he doesn't feel like Akira Kurusu, the defiant piece of garbage who walks to the beat of his own drum. he doesn't feel like Joker, the thief who sticks to his own justice and punishes evil doers by stealing their distorted desires]
[he feels like a failure, like a toy, like a plaything. and fuck that]
[don't get despondent. get fucking angry. own up your mistakes, your bad choices, the bonds you've broken and the pain you've caused. own up to it, and do something about it]
[there's no way Rin can see that internal monologue. no way he can know what's Akira is thinking. but there's a certain spark of life in the backs of his gray irises that wasn't there before]
All right.
[a grin. a slight cant of his head]
That's exactly what I'll do.