pandatreasure (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pandatreasure) wrote2017-12-24 12:44 am
pandatreasure) wrote2017-12-24 12:44 am
GRAVEYARD
[You know you must have died—nothing is ever easy around here, certainly not quick, so you must remember burning, bleeding, falling, dying?
And yet. You're waking up.
Do you recognize it here, once you pick yourself up off of the hard floor, maybe half-strewn across a couch or beanbag chair? This room died, too: you're in the library, good as new and maybe better than that, only barely smelling of burnt paper and you only sometimes kick up ash, just like those old wounds that finished you off only ache every now and again, dully.
The book selection isn't quite the same as you remember it—all the bad erotica that didn't die is missing here, sorry to say, but so are the books on everyone's home worlds. Snoop around enough and behind the librarian's desk, you'll find tablets: one for each participant of the game, and with enough experimentation, you'll find the one that reacts when you press the button. You're already logged into your Recyclr account and can read the feed, but the same rules apply: 140 characters, one tweet a day. The voting app is gone, replaced by a sort of security monitoring kind of app. Characters can view different rooms of the school, or even place a few side by side so they can view a few at a time, and they'll be able to see the living go about their day to day lives. There's even an archive of recordings, but only the important ones: murders, executions, investigations, trial highlight reels, and major events like libraries being burned down. Was watching yourself die once not enough? Boy have I got good news for you!!!
It's kind of exciting that you can go around touching stuff, probably, despite being super dead and vaguely transparent in a way you notice like your own breathing; you don't and then you do and it's all you can think about, but your tangibility only extends to the inanimate: try to touch any of your fellow deceased and you'll find that you just pass right on through like touching cold air.
The windows aren't bolted up with those big metal plates on this side of things, but look out of them anytime and it's just pitch-black and still outside, so that's demoralizing. There is, of course, the door out of the library—but for now it's locked up tight. Whatever is a ghost to do?]
((Recyclr
Offerings/Letters
Day 11
Day 14
Day 16))
And yet. You're waking up.
Do you recognize it here, once you pick yourself up off of the hard floor, maybe half-strewn across a couch or beanbag chair? This room died, too: you're in the library, good as new and maybe better than that, only barely smelling of burnt paper and you only sometimes kick up ash, just like those old wounds that finished you off only ache every now and again, dully.
The book selection isn't quite the same as you remember it—all the bad erotica that didn't die is missing here, sorry to say, but so are the books on everyone's home worlds. Snoop around enough and behind the librarian's desk, you'll find tablets: one for each participant of the game, and with enough experimentation, you'll find the one that reacts when you press the button. You're already logged into your Recyclr account and can read the feed, but the same rules apply: 140 characters, one tweet a day. The voting app is gone, replaced by a sort of security monitoring kind of app. Characters can view different rooms of the school, or even place a few side by side so they can view a few at a time, and they'll be able to see the living go about their day to day lives. There's even an archive of recordings, but only the important ones: murders, executions, investigations, trial highlight reels, and major events like libraries being burned down. Was watching yourself die once not enough? Boy have I got good news for you!!!
It's kind of exciting that you can go around touching stuff, probably, despite being super dead and vaguely transparent in a way you notice like your own breathing; you don't and then you do and it's all you can think about, but your tangibility only extends to the inanimate: try to touch any of your fellow deceased and you'll find that you just pass right on through like touching cold air.
The windows aren't bolted up with those big metal plates on this side of things, but look out of them anytime and it's just pitch-black and still outside, so that's demoralizing. There is, of course, the door out of the library—but for now it's locked up tight. Whatever is a ghost to do?]
((Recyclr
Offerings/Letters
Day 11
Day 14
Day 16))
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...Oh hey, looks like his wounds are still there after all! ow.]
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...huh. Didn't know it worked like that for ghosts.
[He's going to try actually kicking Ichigo a few times to test it, but his foot just goes through Ichigo.]
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[That's muffled, as he pulls himself up to a sitting position while facing Rin with a sigh.]
...or at least, it shouldn't.
[Then - he gives Rin a glare.]
I told you to give them hell for us - but I didn't mean right now, you absolute idiot! I wanted you to live!
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[It's totally not his fault that it failed horribly.]
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[HE'S SO MAD, he was screaming the entire time Rin attacked Tycoon past the duct tape.]
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[Obviously it wasn't, but. Rin logic.]
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[God, he's so frustrated.
Fuck this, he's picking up a book and flinging it at Rin's stupid face.]
I've been through worse things too! But there was nothing you could do in that situation, goddamnit! And now you're dead and everyone is left with Graham!
I didn't want you to die for me! I wanted you to take the raccoons down for me and Akira! To do what we couldn't, you fucking idiot!
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[Too much hope in this boy I stg]
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[Goddamn, it's not getting through to him!
Now he knows how Tsumugi and Dazai felt.]
...Forget it. Fine. Whatever.
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...
okay, look: I know it's bad right now. But you're all 'mr. downside' all the time, and most of the people here are the same way too. Someone's gotta think positive here. Even if I'm wrong, is it wrong to have a little hope?
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[Because - that's what he's really getting at, why he's so upset.
He wanted Rin to survive - to go through all of this and make it out to the other side without dying. To be the one out of the three of them who made it out safely.
His voice is quiet, and he sinks back into a beanbag.]
...That's all I have to say.
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Rin can't grab Ichigo right now, but you know what he can do? Grab another beanbag and drop it on Ichigo.
And then flop down on it.]
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OKAY TRYING TO SHOVE HIM OFF, HOLY SHIT CAN HE SUFFOCATE TO DEATH?]
MMFRH!!!
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But sure the beanbag and Rin can be shoved off pretty easily. There he goessss~]
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But he sits up almost instantly, obviously annoyed.]
The hell was that for, you ass?!
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Why are you using the past tense like that, huh? Don't tell me you're giving up on me!
[No really, don't do that. One of Rin's weaknesses is friendship.]
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[UUUUUUUGH]
I still believe in you now, but that doesn't mean I'm not pissed at you for ignoring what I wanted!
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When did I ignore that?
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We're a TEAM. Do you know what that means? It means we work together. We share the burden. Because it's too much for one person to handle alone.
And you don't get to call me your 'best friend' and get my hopes up like that only to turn around and keep doing this same bullshit again. You know what it's like with me and friends, don't do that!
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[That's shouted out loud, his hands balling into fists.]
Nothing I do changes anything! Ever since I got here, all I could do was watch as people I cared for ended up being killed, and then someone I loved killed just to save everyone - something I couldn't even do - and I was stupid enough to get myself killed because I couldn't slow down and think for a second about the fucking rules! And then you jump in during the execution because the things I said!
And you're telling me not to take it on myself?! You died because of me, Rin!
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Kind of like Rin himself, actually.
But Rin's not gentle and kind like Shiemi is. He can't get through to Ichigo in that way like Shiemi did. And Rin's not smart and calculating like Yukio is. He can't get through to Ichigo by pushing exactly the right buttons to make him realize stuff on his own. Rin is just Rin, and his way of helping people is to just talk to them until they understand.
Maybe he just needs to say the right thing?]
Yeah, sure, I guess you're right. Maybe I wouldn't have jumped in if you hadn't said anything. I didn't go into that auditorium planning to do anything like that. Maybe I could've stood by and watched my two best friends get blown into pieces.
[He pushes himself to his feet and straightens his shirt a bit.]
But what would've happened the next night? It's so close to the end. Sure, someone might've gone after Will, but I bet he's gonna hide in his room on the next killing night. I wouldn't be surprised if nobody dies the next killing night. And if nobody had died, then you know what was gonna happen to me.
You fulfilled your promise to me, Ichigo. You were supposed to kill me before I killed everyone else. I mean, I guess we both imagined that you would be killing demon-me instead, but this works too.
[He holds his hand out to Ichigo. It's more symbolic right now, since they can't touch, but DETAILS.]
But it was really unfair of me to ask you to become a murderer to keep me from becoming one. I let my fear of turning into a monster get the better of me, and I didn't think about how it'd make you feel. I'm sorry for that. So, let me make it up to you?
no subject
They do reach him, even though the mire of pain and emotion, and he just...stares, for a moment.
Had he actually fulfilled something that he'd promised? Even if it wasn't entirely to the letter, just the thought of not completely failing is enough to make him at least pause.
But at the same time...the reason he was so upset wasn't that he'd be a murderer, or that he felt bad about having to take Rin's life. It was that just like how he ended up being executed - he didn't THINK about his words, and how they could be taken.
But...maybe it wouldn't be so bad to take that hand. To let himself trust in his friends again and let them take his burdens, just like how he'd reached that point before coming to this horrible place.
His weakness, his vulnerability, his pain - It's all there, written large on his face as he reaches out to take that hand -
And his hand just goes straight through, the chill of them touching acting like a bucket of cold water on his faint hopes and reminding him of what's happened.
That moment of vulnerability fades, replaced by a wan smile that doesn't quite reach his eye.]
...Of course. Sorry for making you worry about me, Rin.
[He's not fake cheerful, just...he looks so sad, so tired - like everything catching up to him at once. He scrubs at his eye with his hand, blinking slowly.]
I, uh...I just need some time to rest, alright? And think about it. I didn't really get a lot of sleep, before...
[We all fucking died.]
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He should say something. He should speak up and make sure Ichigo understands, that he's okay.]
Ah...y-yeah, it's been quite a day.
[But just like with Yukio, he can't. For all his pushing, he can't quite get past that last hurdle.
It looks like Akira and Ichigo aren't the only ones with problems in the afterlife. Rin's got his own problems holding him back too.]
Get some rest, okay? I'll check on the others and come back later. They went all weird here. But I'll be back.
[Because that's important to say too: he's not abandoning Ichigo, he's not giving up. If Ichigo needs rest, then okay. But he'll always come back.]
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But he just needs some time - and to be told the one thing that he's been agonizing over since he woke up in this place.
Rin's planted the seed of hope in his heart, and he'll soon be back on his feet, grateful that he's got such a loyal friend at his side.
But for now? he just nods, curling up before shutting his eye and actually drifting off to sleep (amazing that even in this state they can sleep, even if he doesn't need food or water) rather quickly.
But a few hours later, he makes his way back to Rin - tapping on his shoulder with a book to get his attention, not looking as worn or nearly as sad.
In fact, he almost looks like his old self.]
...Thanks, Rin.
I had time to think about it, and...you're right. I've been taking everything on my own shoulders, and shutting out you guys - just like I did for a while back home.
But...I'm tired of that. And...I know you have my back, no matter what. So -
We're in this together. For the long haul.
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