pandatreasure | GRAVEYARD

[You know you must have died—nothing is ever easy around here, certainly not quick, so you must remember burning, bleeding, falling, dying?

And yet. You're waking up.

Do you recognize it here, once you pick yourself up off of the hard floor, maybe half-strewn across a couch or beanbag chair? This room died, too: you're in the library, good as new and maybe better than that, only barely smelling of burnt paper and you only sometimes kick up ash, just like those old wounds that finished you off only ache every now and again, dully.

The book selection isn't quite the same as you remember it—all the bad erotica that didn't die is missing here, sorry to say, but so are the books on everyone's home worlds. Snoop around enough and behind the librarian's desk, you'll find tablets: one for each participant of the game, and with enough experimentation, you'll find the one that reacts when you press the button. You're already logged into your Recyclr account and can read the feed, but the same rules apply: 140 characters, one tweet a day. The voting app is gone, replaced by a sort of security monitoring kind of app. Characters can view different rooms of the school, or even place a few side by side so they can view a few at a time, and they'll be able to see the living go about their day to day lives. There's even an archive of recordings, but only the important ones: murders, executions, investigations, trial highlight reels, and major events like libraries being burned down. Was watching yourself die once not enough? Boy have I got good news for you!!!

It's kind of exciting that you can go around touching stuff, probably, despite being super dead and vaguely transparent in a way you notice like your own breathing; you don't and then you do and it's all you can think about, but your tangibility only extends to the inanimate: try to touch any of your fellow deceased and you'll find that you just pass right on through like touching cold air.

The windows aren't bolted up with those big metal plates on this side of things, but look out of them anytime and it's just pitch-black and still outside, so that's demoralizing. There is, of course, the door out of the library—but for now it's locked up tight. Whatever is a ghost to do?]

((Recyclr

Offerings/Letters
Day 11
Day 14
Day 16))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It really is.]

So.

If there's not arguing over stuff going on, what else is there to do here?

I've been mostly watching over things in the game.

...even the super-embarrassing stuff?

[Oh god don't tell him Dazai saw That One Time with Akira.]

Even the embarrassing stuff.

[... not really but also Rin is so easy.]

[He really is.]

Look.

You can't tell anyone about the embarrassing stuff.

It's too late. Everyone knows.

[WELP

He's screaming now.]

[nufufu music to his ears. or so that's how his expression looks.]

I'm not gay! I was just- I didn't understand it, I was just asking questions!

[TOO BAD YOU DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT HUH DAZAI]

[NAH! the fact that it was a gay panic moment makes it all the better.

LOOKING HELLA AMUSED.]

Rin-kun, you don't have to start with "I'm not gay!"--just for future reference, that makes it sound like a denial which makes people think the opposite.

And it's fine to ask questions and show interests in others? You're at that age where you should be exploring your interests.

[aren't you so glad you decided to attach yourself to this lush?]

[So rude, Dazai. That's just making him more frustrated.]

But I'm not! I definitely like girls! It's just...

[Look, now he's going all shy about it.]

Ichigo and Akira ended up liking each other, and then Akechi and Shuichi have something going on. And it came so easy to them, you know? I've never thought about guys like that before, but then again I never really thought about liking girls before either. It just happened. So what if it could 'just happen' with a guy too?

[DRAGS HANDS DOWN FACE this is so stupid!]

Rrrgh! It's pointless right now, there's nobody around here that I think like that about anyway!

[oh noooooooooo. this is adorable and such a good distraction from his own sads.]

Rin-kun... you are aware that a person can like both girls and boys, aren't you? In fact, I'm one of those people--though I honestly find men easier to deal with.

I figured, yeah. Ichigo said he's like that. But I mean for me, I've never liked a guy before. Not because I think they're gross or something, I just never liked a guy like that.

And I don't exactly have the most experience with this stuff anyway, I've only ever liked one girl before. Still, that one time is enough to say 'yep, I definitely like girls'. How can you say that about guys if you've never liked or disliked one before?

[Rin's real problem here is a lack of experience tbh]

Hmm... that is a fair question.

I guess you could try the mental exercise of imagining yourself doing things you would do with a girl you liked with any of the boys you know? That at least eliminates some.

[Okay well. Rin's going to look even more embarrassed now.]

I've never even kissed a girl before.

[-and oh shit now he realizes that he died without kissing anyone. He's so uncool.]

[oh dear. that is sad.

using a book to patpat Rin's head.]

There, there. If things go right, we'll be revived and you'll have your chances.

But I guess I'm meaning more... when you liked that girl, you would think about being with her frequently, right? Even when it was embarrassing? Are there any boys you feel that way about?

[Flatly:]

Don't make fun of me.

[But then he considers the rest of what Dazai said.]

Well, she's really cute. Like you wouldn't believe how cute she is. She's got all the girls here beat by a lot. And she's really nice and friendly, and it's really easy to like being around her. So...I guess that's it? I think she's cute and want to be around her all the time?

There's not really any boy here I'd call cute. And I want to be around a lot of people here, so I don't think it's just that.

Then it might be possible that there's just no one you're that interested in.

It's also possible that people you would be interested in have already found someone they're interested in and you respect that. It could also be you're the type to see people you're interested in as friends first before going further than that.

There's a lot of possibilities.

...huh. You know, that makes more sense.

How come nobody ever explained it that way before?

[He was raised by a priest, most of his 'dating knowledge' comes from movies.]

Possibly because most people you'd seek advice from are your age and most boys your age aren't experienced in this either.

[OKAY FAIR POINT]

W-well it's not like I can just ask my dad this kinda stuff! He's a priest it's not like he ever dated anyone!

[And he's. You know. Dead.]

Well, I'm not the best if you're asking serious relationship questions but I do have quite a bit of experience.

[bang 'em and leave 'em tho]

Edited 2018-01-22 17:18 (UTC)

[Don't tell Rin to 'bang 'em and leave 'em'.]

Nah, you did fine. I think I got it figured out now at least.

[SO CRISIS OVER??? maybe.]

[but that means no more convenient distraction... curse making attemtps to actually be helpful. he is too sober is definitely the problem.]

Ah, well. That's good.

[No see this is why he included Dazai on the coolness list!]

(no subject)

cw_suicide - 2018-01-22 18:26 (UTC) - Expand