pandatreasure | GRAVEYARD

GRAVEYARD

[You know you must have died—nothing is ever easy around here, certainly not quick, so you must remember burning, bleeding, falling, dying?

And yet. You're waking up.

Do you recognize it here, once you pick yourself up off of the hard floor, maybe half-strewn across a couch or beanbag chair? This room died, too: you're in the library, good as new and maybe better than that, only barely smelling of burnt paper and you only sometimes kick up ash, just like those old wounds that finished you off only ache every now and again, dully.

The book selection isn't quite the same as you remember it—all the bad erotica that didn't die is missing here, sorry to say, but so are the books on everyone's home worlds. Snoop around enough and behind the librarian's desk, you'll find tablets: one for each participant of the game, and with enough experimentation, you'll find the one that reacts when you press the button. You're already logged into your Recyclr account and can read the feed, but the same rules apply: 140 characters, one tweet a day. The voting app is gone, replaced by a sort of security monitoring kind of app. Characters can view different rooms of the school, or even place a few side by side so they can view a few at a time, and they'll be able to see the living go about their day to day lives. There's even an archive of recordings, but only the important ones: murders, executions, investigations, trial highlight reels, and major events like libraries being burned down. Was watching yourself die once not enough? Boy have I got good news for you!!!

It's kind of exciting that you can go around touching stuff, probably, despite being super dead and vaguely transparent in a way you notice like your own breathing; you don't and then you do and it's all you can think about, but your tangibility only extends to the inanimate: try to touch any of your fellow deceased and you'll find that you just pass right on through like touching cold air.

The windows aren't bolted up with those big metal plates on this side of things, but look out of them anytime and it's just pitch-black and still outside, so that's demoralizing. There is, of course, the door out of the library—but for now it's locked up tight. Whatever is a ghost to do?]

((Recyclr

Offerings/Letters
Day 11
Day 14
Day 16))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[nevertheless, he stumbles back, as though she had managed to shove him]

No.

No part of what I did was "good." And no one should take any cues from me.

Liar. You think what you did was fine and dandy. Everyone gets to live and go home now, don't they? Well then, wasn't it worth it?

That wasn't an "open anytime" offer I made you back then. You idiot. I was prepared to help create a much more perfect alibi than you getting your murderously insane, idiot friend to lie for you. And what'd you do? You dared to give me some lecture? To tell me you'd care if I died? Who the hell asked you?

Let me tell you what I told Saihara-san, Kurusu Akira... you're not judged by what you wanted not to do, you're judged by what you did, in fact, do.

[taking all of that in, absorbing every word, without looking away. although it's awfully tempting. surprise surprise, it's kind of difficult to stare your murder victim in the face like this]

[and in the end, he has no arguments, no denials, no. . . nothing. except a simple]

I know.

You're filth, Kurusu Akira. And don't act like standing there and listening to me call you out on it is some kind of penance. There is no penance.

[pause]

--Well, then again, there might be.

If you were to, say, take some sort of weapon and re-kill everyone once they revive, I would accept that as a sort of penance. Yes, that would at least convince me of your first words...

"I'm sorry." As in, "I regret." "I'd take it back if I could."

...But you didn't really mean it.

Did you?

You're right. I am filth, and there is no penance.

[there isn't any sense of self-deprecation in that, though. he's echoing it like it's just a proven fact. like there isn't any way to debunk it. like it's spoken in red, branded on his soul for him to be judged by whatever higher deity weighs the intrinsic rightfulness of his actions]

. . . what part of that would give you satisfaction, Erika? The part where I'd be re-killing the people I care about? Or the part where you know I won't do it, so you can assume my refusal means that I'm not being sincere?

[he lets out a breath, trying to stay firm, because she deserves the chance to say all of this to him. even though he's so so tired]

I did something unspeakable. You didn't deserve. . . any of that. I brought you pain and suffering because I wanted so. . . badly to save everyone here, as selfish as. . . that thought was. But that motive don't excuse my actions. I owe you the world and the moon and the stars and everything in between as repayment, and none of that would ever be able to make up for what I did.

But you?

You don't owe me forgiveness. You don't. . . owe me anything.

Mm. You'd be literally and metaphorically undoing the bargain you achieved by sacrificing me. I'd find it suitable. Go ahead and agree to it and I'll forgive you, easy. I mean... it'd be only fair, right?

[she laughed]

The funny part is I was prepared to forgive you... you know why? Because I saw what was happening out there.

...Yeah, I laughed like hell when I saw Ichigo announce you were the culprit. I laughed like crazy when I realized he was getting executed too. And seeing Rin get himself killed was just icing on the cake... so to speak.

The hate I felt for you was a little assuaged after seeing all that... just a little. Perhaps the anger I was feeling had passed and I could re-embrace Kurusu-san like I did Futayo-san...

...Then.

[pause as all the mirth leave her face and tone.]

Then, you had to open your big mouth and start talking about how betrayal is a wonderful idea and I should do it too.

[????]

[OPENING HIS MOUTH TO ARGUE, like. of course he didn't say that?? when did he say that?? until he thinks over his words, and shuts his mouth with a click]

[he frowns]

[. . . he thinks he sees]

Is that what you would consider going to another world? A betrayal of your master?

Isn't it?! And you say it so easily too, even though you know nothing, because you're an idiot. What the hell do you mean "disappear and vanish without a trace?" My Master will travel from world to world without stopping. She can search through over two million, five hundred seventy-eight thousand, nine hundred seventeen different worlds in the blink of an eye. Perhaps more... if she was really motivated.

Furthermore, that punishment I told you I was so afraid of? That was my punishment for failure... I would rather not see what would happen if I actively betrayed her. Maaaybe something worse? --It was pretty bad, the time spent in there.

Then you act like giving me 'that chance' is some great 'gift'...

[he shakes his head]

. . . no. It isn't a "gift." It isn't--

[. . .]

[stay firm, stay firm, stay firm, Kurusu, you don't deserve the opportunity to break]

It isn't anything more than me trying to impose my own selfish ideals on you, Erika.

[he can't fix this. he can't. . . be the one to encourage her to chase freedom. not anymore]

Oh?

[thinks that over]

Well, I can understand that, Kurusu-san. I mean, I do that all the time.

[smiles]

[tilts his head and mirrors her smile, as much as it doesn't reach his eyes, as exhausted as it seems]

I'd say that we aren't so different after all, but that might be an insult to you, and I'd rather not do that.

...Yes, don't push it.

[...]

So, when did you realize Kaiba-shacho knew?

[a quiet shrug]

Immediately.

[like, right after she died]

He pulled me aside right after he heard you were the. . . victim, and asked me about what happened. We are-- [hesitates] -- were? Friends, so. . .

...So, you talked your way out of admitting it?

I tried to tell him I was responsible, actually. Without confessing directly.

[which was his downfall, in the end]

He said he'd cover for me, but not Akechi. He took my hints and convinced himself Akechi was the culprit, and. . .

[thhhhat's how things ended for Akira]

...Pathetic. Kurusu Akira, by virtue of being Kurusu Akira, had people talking themselves out of ways he could be the culprit.

[sighs] Really, I expected more of Kaiba-shacho... I almost told Saihara Shuichi as well, but I expected he would fully cooperate with you if somehow you did kill me.

So you were willing to let Tomoe Hiyori possibly be executed, but not this Akechi Goro.

No. It's the exact opposite. I wasn't willing to allow Hiyori executed in my stead. He did nothing wrong, and was chasing after Will Graham-- someone who did commit a crime, be it not one outlined by the rules of this game.

[. . . but at the time Ichigo and company were arguing that Hiyori was the culprit, he had no idea how to interject his thoughts, beyond a confession]

Meanwhile, Akechi volunteered to confess if suspicion came upon us, and any attempts I would have made to talk him out of it would have fallen on deaf ears. So. . . I let him have that choice.

[he didn't want Akechi to take the fall for it either, but. . . that one wasn't his call to make]

...Then why did Kurosaki Ichigo suddenly come forward?

[BOY]

. . . Seto approached him in private, asking him if I'd cover for Akechi. And then Ichigo pulled me aside, and asked if I was covering for him, too.

I told him I wasn't.

And then informed him that it was Akechi covering for me.

[helpless. shrug]

He did. . . what he believed was right. And I didn't stop him.

...

[snerks]

[yeah. he knows]

I'm weak.

I couldn't lie to him anymore.

[she'll hold back the guffaws, but judging by the smile she's clearly amused]

And so your boyfriend ruined your chance for success and got himself killed too.

[he should be mad, because people dying shouldn't be funny!! but what right does he have to be angry at her?]

. . . I'm glad at least one person in this somber, ashy library can laugh.

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