GRAVEYARD

[pandatreasure]

[You know you must have died—nothing is ever easy around here, certainly not quick, so you must remember burning, bleeding, falling, dying?

And yet. You're waking up.

Do you recognize it here, once you pick yourself up off of the hard floor, maybe half-strewn across a couch or beanbag chair? This room died, too: you're in the library, good as new and maybe better than that, only barely smelling of burnt paper and you only sometimes kick up ash, just like those old wounds that finished you off only ache every now and again, dully.

The book selection isn't quite the same as you remember it—all the bad erotica that didn't die is missing here, sorry to say, but so are the books on everyone's home worlds. Snoop around enough and behind the librarian's desk, you'll find tablets: one for each participant of the game, and with enough experimentation, you'll find the one that reacts when you press the button. You're already logged into your Recyclr account and can read the feed, but the same rules apply: 140 characters, one tweet a day. The voting app is gone, replaced by a sort of security monitoring kind of app. Characters can view different rooms of the school, or even place a few side by side so they can view a few at a time, and they'll be able to see the living go about their day to day lives. There's even an archive of recordings, but only the important ones: murders, executions, investigations, trial highlight reels, and major events like libraries being burned down. Was watching yourself die once not enough? Boy have I got good news for you!!!

It's kind of exciting that you can go around touching stuff, probably, despite being super dead and vaguely transparent in a way you notice like your own breathing; you don't and then you do and it's all you can think about, but your tangibility only extends to the inanimate: try to touch any of your fellow deceased and you'll find that you just pass right on through like touching cold air.

The windows aren't bolted up with those big metal plates on this side of things, but look out of them anytime and it's just pitch-black and still outside, so that's demoralizing. There is, of course, the door out of the library—but for now it's locked up tight. Whatever is a ghost to do?]

((Recyclr

Offerings/Letters
Day 11
Day 14
Day 16))

Comments

[very_good_end]

...It was really stupid. Everyone should have realized you met with Akechi once already, and therefore you would both be sent back to your rooms.

Or, even supposing you weren't sent back, it breaks with your stated goal of "meeting with a different person each night."

Not to mention that I would not have trusted Hiyori, Akechi, or even Kaiba, with any sort of plan to explore, and therefore they would have no opportunity to murder me.

And yet, if you'd stayed quiet five more minutes, you would have gotten away with it.

[purrtagonist]

[. . . yeah. he would've. had he just told Ichigo a half truth instead of the full truth, he would've gotten away with it. had he helped Hiyori push the Will theory even more, he would've gotten away with it]

[had he argued that Will was more worthy of execution than he was even after the truth came out. . . he would've gotten away with it]

[heh]

I suppose it's good that I couldn't bring myself to lie to Ichigo, then.

[very_good_end]

...Why would it be good?

[head tilt]

[purrtagonist]

[slow. blinks]

Because that's how I got caught?

[very_good_end]

I fail to see how that's 'good'.

[purrtagonist]

[. . . ????????????]

Isn't-- me getting caught a "good" thing?

[he?? killed you??? Erika???]

[very_good_end]

[shrugs]

Even the third-rate mystery you created was lost on those idiots out there. The fact that someone had to confess on your behalf for them to get it proves that.

Furthermore, I said it, didn't I? What happens after the truth is exposed is beyond the concern of the detective.

Therefore... why should I care?

[purrtagonist]

[. . .]

You looked. . . sad.

[for reasons he totally and completely understands]

[very_good_end]

...Oh? When? What moment was that, Kurusu-san?

[purrtagonist]

[the moment she was bleeding out on the floor, and all he could do was watch with his hand on her shoulder and every inch of his body shaking--]

You know. . . [subject change; he knows she doesn't like talking about these weaknesses] Part of my motive was to let people return home to whichever world they choose, even if it isn't their original one.

You could use that opportunity to escape the abyss you're so afraid of.

[very_good_end]

Shut up. Idiot. You stupid fool.

[the subject change brings a change in tone from her, too]

Don't you dare pretend you're doing me some favor. Even if I took you up on your so generous offer, traveling between worlds is nothing my master can't do. So it's not really effective an escape, is it?

...Is it??

[purrtagonist]

It can be.

[or. so he thinks]

Do you think your master can find you that easily if you disappear into the universe without a trace? And even then, the simple act of choosing where you want to go. . .

Well. That's a start.

[very_good_end]

Just shut up. You disgust me. You think you can act like your betrayal was some 'good' thing? Something everyone should do?

[She tries to shove him before remembering they're both ghosts.]

[purrtagonist]

[nevertheless, he stumbles back, as though she had managed to shove him]

No.

No part of what I did was "good." And no one should take any cues from me.

[very_good_end]

Liar. You think what you did was fine and dandy. Everyone gets to live and go home now, don't they? Well then, wasn't it worth it?

That wasn't an "open anytime" offer I made you back then. You idiot. I was prepared to help create a much more perfect alibi than you getting your murderously insane, idiot friend to lie for you. And what'd you do? You dared to give me some lecture? To tell me you'd care if I died? Who the hell asked you?

Let me tell you what I told Saihara-san, Kurusu Akira... you're not judged by what you wanted not to do, you're judged by what you did, in fact, do.

[purrtagonist]

[taking all of that in, absorbing every word, without looking away. although it's awfully tempting. surprise surprise, it's kind of difficult to stare your murder victim in the face like this]

[and in the end, he has no arguments, no denials, no. . . nothing. except a simple]

I know.

[very_good_end]

You're filth, Kurusu Akira. And don't act like standing there and listening to me call you out on it is some kind of penance. There is no penance.

[pause]

--Well, then again, there might be.

If you were to, say, take some sort of weapon and re-kill everyone once they revive, I would accept that as a sort of penance. Yes, that would at least convince me of your first words...

"I'm sorry." As in, "I regret." "I'd take it back if I could."

...But you didn't really mean it.

Did you?

[purrtagonist]

You're right. I am filth, and there is no penance.

[there isn't any sense of self-deprecation in that, though. he's echoing it like it's just a proven fact. like there isn't any way to debunk it. like it's spoken in red, branded on his soul for him to be judged by whatever higher deity weighs the intrinsic rightfulness of his actions]

. . . what part of that would give you satisfaction, Erika? The part where I'd be re-killing the people I care about? Or the part where you know I won't do it, so you can assume my refusal means that I'm not being sincere?

[he lets out a breath, trying to stay firm, because she deserves the chance to say all of this to him. even though he's so so tired]

I did something unspeakable. You didn't deserve. . . any of that. I brought you pain and suffering because I wanted so. . . badly to save everyone here, as selfish as. . . that thought was. But that motive don't excuse my actions. I owe you the world and the moon and the stars and everything in between as repayment, and none of that would ever be able to make up for what I did.

But you?

You don't owe me forgiveness. You don't. . . owe me anything.

1/2

[very_good_end]

Mm. You'd be literally and metaphorically undoing the bargain you achieved by sacrificing me. I'd find it suitable. Go ahead and agree to it and I'll forgive you, easy. I mean... it'd be only fair, right?

[she laughed]

The funny part is I was prepared to forgive you... you know why? Because I saw what was happening out there.

...Yeah, I laughed like hell when I saw Ichigo announce you were the culprit. I laughed like crazy when I realized he was getting executed too. And seeing Rin get himself killed was just icing on the cake... so to speak.

The hate I felt for you was a little assuaged after seeing all that... just a little. Perhaps the anger I was feeling had passed and I could re-embrace Kurusu-san like I did Futayo-san...

[very_good_end]

...Then.

[pause as all the mirth leave her face and tone.]

Then, you had to open your big mouth and start talking about how betrayal is a wonderful idea and I should do it too.

1/2

[purrtagonist]

[????]

[purrtagonist]

[OPENING HIS MOUTH TO ARGUE, like. of course he didn't say that?? when did he say that?? until he thinks over his words, and shuts his mouth with a click]

[he frowns]

[. . . he thinks he sees]

Is that what you would consider going to another world? A betrayal of your master?

[very_good_end]

Isn't it?! And you say it so easily too, even though you know nothing, because you're an idiot. What the hell do you mean "disappear and vanish without a trace?" My Master will travel from world to world without stopping. She can search through over two million, five hundred seventy-eight thousand, nine hundred seventeen different worlds in the blink of an eye. Perhaps more... if she was really motivated.

Furthermore, that punishment I told you I was so afraid of? That was my punishment for failure... I would rather not see what would happen if I actively betrayed her. Maaaybe something worse? --It was pretty bad, the time spent in there.

Then you act like giving me 'that chance' is some great 'gift'...

[purrtagonist]

[he shakes his head]

. . . no. It isn't a "gift." It isn't--

[. . .]

[stay firm, stay firm, stay firm, Kurusu, you don't deserve the opportunity to break]

It isn't anything more than me trying to impose my own selfish ideals on you, Erika.

[he can't fix this. he can't. . . be the one to encourage her to chase freedom. not anymore]

[very_good_end]

Oh?

[thinks that over]

Well, I can understand that, Kurusu-san. I mean, I do that all the time.

[smiles]