GRAVEYARD

[pandatreasure]

[You know you must have died—nothing is ever easy around here, certainly not quick, so you must remember burning, bleeding, falling, dying?

And yet. You're waking up.

Do you recognize it here, once you pick yourself up off of the hard floor, maybe half-strewn across a couch or beanbag chair? This room died, too: you're in the library, good as new and maybe better than that, only barely smelling of burnt paper and you only sometimes kick up ash, just like those old wounds that finished you off only ache every now and again, dully.

The book selection isn't quite the same as you remember it—all the bad erotica that didn't die is missing here, sorry to say, but so are the books on everyone's home worlds. Snoop around enough and behind the librarian's desk, you'll find tablets: one for each participant of the game, and with enough experimentation, you'll find the one that reacts when you press the button. You're already logged into your Recyclr account and can read the feed, but the same rules apply: 140 characters, one tweet a day. The voting app is gone, replaced by a sort of security monitoring kind of app. Characters can view different rooms of the school, or even place a few side by side so they can view a few at a time, and they'll be able to see the living go about their day to day lives. There's even an archive of recordings, but only the important ones: murders, executions, investigations, trial highlight reels, and major events like libraries being burned down. Was watching yourself die once not enough? Boy have I got good news for you!!!

It's kind of exciting that you can go around touching stuff, probably, despite being super dead and vaguely transparent in a way you notice like your own breathing; you don't and then you do and it's all you can think about, but your tangibility only extends to the inanimate: try to touch any of your fellow deceased and you'll find that you just pass right on through like touching cold air.

The windows aren't bolted up with those big metal plates on this side of things, but look out of them anytime and it's just pitch-black and still outside, so that's demoralizing. There is, of course, the door out of the library—but for now it's locked up tight. Whatever is a ghost to do?]

((Recyclr

Offerings/Letters
Day 11
Day 14
Day 16))

Comments

[purrtagonist]

I think you used up all of the weed in the school already.

[cw_suicide]

[pulls off the glasses]

And for a good cause!

[purrtagonist]

Contributing to the delinquency of two minors.

[lol. reaches for the glasses to try them himself]

. . . how has it been, being sober these last few days?

[cw_suicide]

The perks of being dead: no withdrawal symptoms!

[purrtagonist]

A nice perk, but also not what I meant.

[stares at him, YOU KNOW WHAT HE MEANT DAZAI]

[cw_suicide]

[DO I THO???]

It's the important part of it, I feel?

[purrtagonist]

[YOU DO]

Maybe. But--

[gestures]

Less important than you telling me there's a reason why you drink, while not having had a drink in a couple of days.

[cw_suicide]

Unless you have a drink, this just feels like cruel teasing.

[purrtagonist]

I gave the wine cellar key back to Erika, and didn't retrieve it from her when I--

[ANYWAY]

Asking you if you're okay is probably pointless, but-- are you okay?

[cw_suicide]

[a long. stare. like he's not sure there's a trick to this question or not]

If it's pointless to ask it, then isn't it equally pointlesss to answer it?

[purrtagonist]

No.

Because even if I know the answer, I want to hear it from you.

[cw_suicide]

[... that just makes him feel contrary?]

Death is a lot more boring than I expected it to be. Then again, I didn't really expect much of anything, so I suppose it's an improvement over nothing?

[purrtagonist]

[okay but like, that's fair, being contrary is fun]

If only they'd liven up the place with some arcade games.

[cw_suicide]

I'd take even board games.

[purrtagonist]

Or colored paper for origami.

You're deflecting.

[cw_suicide]

No, I'm conversing.

[purrtagonist]

Deflecting while you converse.

[cw_suicide]

[siiiiiiigh...]

Well, it's obvious that it's not the sort of place to be doing "okay" in, isn't it?

[purrtagonist]

Yeah.

[if anyone was actually "okay" Akira would be worried]

But now you've got someone here who is willing to talk with you about that. So. . .?

[cw_suicide]

[... well. you got him staring at you like he's expecting you to say something.]

So...?

[gestures for him to continue.]

[purrtagonist]

[NO, HE WANTED YOU TO SAY SOMETHING, DAZAI]

You're not used to people asking you about your feelings, are you?

[cw_suicide]

What gave that away?

[purrtagonist]

Instinct.

[HE'S GOOD AT READING PEOPLE also you're not subtle, Dazai]

[cw_suicide]

I thought it was the fact that I prefer to drink rather than talk.

[THERE IS. A REASON. HE DRINKS. AKIRA-KUN.]

[purrtagonist]

[HE KNOWS]

Yeah, that too.

[pauses, considering]

Do you-- [hesitation] Are you disappointed in us? For failing?

[he isn't asking that like a kid seeking validation from a parent. he's asking it to try and see if he can reach what's beyond Dazai's surface]